so explain again why im purple
no
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
