Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
