Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
