Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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