Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
