I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You can't just leave with hair like that
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
