i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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