Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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