someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize