At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize