ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
