i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
