we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
