Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
