haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
