We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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