I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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