my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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