Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
