He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
