I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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