My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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