Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
try to milk me bitch
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
