One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
where are my eyebrows?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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