oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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