please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
