I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
