I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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