Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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