PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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