so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
