ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He has the fingertips of a God
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
