Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
