so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
