Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
