So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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