We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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