i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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