Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
