You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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