I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
