super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
