I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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