I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
