Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
