Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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