yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
