You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
