Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
