We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
