we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
