Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
