and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
