Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
