we have officially lost it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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