I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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