We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
they're like a gay fantastic four
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
