just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
