Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
