last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize