Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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