3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
