that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
