Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
