His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize