How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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