i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
