I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
