I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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