Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
