Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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